I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
