I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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