I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize