Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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