Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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