You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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