before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
