i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
