Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
