Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
