Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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