i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
