I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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