I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
