Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize