tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
