Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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