She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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