Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
