10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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