Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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