All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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