So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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