its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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