I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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