Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just found puke in my bra..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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