But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
