You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
