Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
