glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
