You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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