please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
