i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
