There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
