be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
