k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
