My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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