So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
