Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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