Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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