I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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