we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
