I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
there is glitter all over my balls
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize