I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
