btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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