i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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