girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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