The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
