you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
