Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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