You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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