Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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