I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
soo... how was my night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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