He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
