Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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