So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
