I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
