Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
