I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize