she kept yelling 'call me bella'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
