My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
