im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
