so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize