Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize