What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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